being honest under times of pressure or just keeping your mouth shut and suspecting everyone else from afar? I know which side I fall on.

It’s probably a good idea to keep track of what you all say and to who. It might help you find out who’s your friend and who’s your enemy. I’m going back through the old blogs too. Looking for traces…
I think it’s important not to say anything that you don’t mean now. We are all suspects now.

David Hampton strikes again.

Now Get Back To Reality

The only good thing about this is that at least the film of Claire was shot ages ago. Hopefully he’s running out of more recent material. Claire’s devastated though. Now Jonathan has actually broken up with her. Everyone else thinks it’s funny but really this will change her whole life. She says her life is over and, in a way, it is. That promise band was her life and now it doesn’t mean anything. He sent the film, or some pictures to her parents too so she can’t hide it at all. I feel sorry for her. Hope she’s ok.

No one seems to want to talk about this in person so I guess I’ll have to write it down. I know we’re all checking each other’s blog posts at the moment. That’s what’s happened to us all lately. Instead of talking things out we’re checking up on each other. Unfortunately what I’m about to say will only make this side of things worse, not better. I’m talking about David Hampton – or whoever writes that blog and is trying to #### us all up. The fact is that he knows things. He knows things about us that no one watching could possibly know and he knows them before we do. This is really ####### messed up! I know that before now we’ve all been thinking that the producers are behind everything but really I think by this point we’ve got to think about all the options. I’m not saying that I’m not suspicious of them at all – they’ve definitely got the most to gain from manipulating us – but what I am saying is that we can’t afford to overlook any angle here. Tete almost died the other day!! Whoever is doing this to us is getting more and more dangerous and we don’t know which of us they’re going to target next or what the hell they’re going to do. We can’t afford to get caught out just because we haven’t thought of the worst case scenario. That’s what I’m saying really. If we #### up now it could mean death.

So who else knows what’s going on in the bus?!? The answer is that we all do! Face it – we’ve got to start thinking about the idea that David Hampton could easily be one of us. I’m really sorry but this is the end of my trusting any of you. You could all be in it together for all I know. I suggest that you should all think the same way. It’s the only way to survive now.

I’ve got to be honest however much it upsets everyone. Frankly things haven’t been the same since Notting Hill. Tete’s overdose has changed everything. She still looks terrible and everyone’s still worried about her. And about everything else. Tete’s experience is just a symptom of the real problem we’re all facing. David Hampton is that problem. I think we’ve all got to face that fact now. We all know that he or she – whatever they are – is the root cause of everything that’s been wrong with this trip. We need to talk. This is like some cheesy American teen slasher film. I really feel like we are being hunted…cracked open like nuts. Turned inside out and revealed, broken. It really feels like this.

Oh god. For the second time on this trip someone’s nearly died. Dieter came back to the bus on Sunday night to find Tete passed out in the aisle. She’d ODed. She’s  ok now, but it’s ####### crazy!! Everyone was freaking out worrying about her. Considering that he was the one that found her it’s weird that Dieter seems the least shaken up of us all though. He can be a really strange guy. ####. I can’t believe this has been happening.

I knew she was back on drugs. I knew it and should have gone more with my instincts. They are never wrong. She’d been denying it so strongly. Too strongly I guess. I should’ve known better. Maybe I could have helped her more. Really though she has to help herself now. No one else can force her to quit.I hate to say it though, but I have heard that with these drugs you never really get clean. it isalways with you – like a monkey on your back. maybe, as she says, her life is ruined.

Behind even this mess is that name again – David Hampton, Tete claims that he was paying Billy to get her back to her old ways. It’s impossible to know whether we can actually believe her though – she’s been out of her mind this whole time. But the fact that she’d say it does prove the huge mental effect that David Hampton is having, not just on her, but on all of us. Whatever his involvement with Billy and Tété we need to find out so much more about him. Or her. Or them. We really don’t know what we’re dealing with here! We don’t know anything about them. Someone is messing us around and, if what T says is true, they’re getting really dangerous now. We almost lost Tete today. Whoever David Hampton is – a man, woman or group – I think it is clear that they don’t just want to play around with us. They want to properly #### us up.

This is so much better than just lounging about. It’s unbelievable! We’ve been wasting our time at so many of the festivals with sunbathing and sitting around. There’s none of that here. It’s just partying and exploring all day long. Meeting new people. It’s epic. This is the way it should be.

We’re at the Carnival! Colours and colours and colours… Can’t wait to get off the bus and party. This is the closest to home I’ve felt since Who Killed Summer started. Amazing.

The next festival we’re going to is Notting Hill Carnival! Yeah!

I’m so excited to go back – it’s pretty close to my heart. I grew up with it really. It was depressing to find out how little everyone else knew about it though. Jude calls himself a Londoner but he especially seems to have no idea of the history that the carnival has. He didn’t even know the basic details – started in 1959, it’s the 2nd biggest street carnival in the world – biggest in Europe. That it has roots in Caribbean culture etc. I can’t believe he hasn’t come across it before. It’s probably because it doesn’t have much to do with posh boys with guitars.

Actually it was quite nice explaining the whole thing to Claire – at least she had the decency to admit that she didn’t know anything about it. I’m really looking forward to going back – it’s just so alive and vibrant. Full of people who have a reason to be there, unlike all of the festivals we’ve been to so far. This is actually important. It started out as a way to turn the negative state of race relations in 50s Britain into something colourful and positive – a metamorphosis from ugliness into beauty. How many other festivals can talk about themselves in those terms? I guess that’s why I’ve always felt a connection with the carnival. It makes me proud to be from London.

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We’re being subjected to the lamest of producer threats – contract breach. Talk about being out of ####### ideas!
As if that wasn’t already the most pathetic thing ever filmed the production crew are ripping off ideas left, right and centre. Tonight they’re making us dress up in hotdog costumes. I think you’ll find that one was mined years ago in a US version of BB. Seriously. Just to humiliate us and make us miserable – you know, the way that producers worldwide ALWAYS do in these kind of shows when they’re scared that no one gives a #### anymore. It’s embarrassing to be a part of it. This embarrassing:

Guys – get a clue.